i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Randomize
