i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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