I just saw a hot homeless man
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
