Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
