What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
