I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
