I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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