Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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