So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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