I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
