like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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