great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
