It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
