I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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