R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I understand Curling. That high.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
