i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
