my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
