I heard we made out
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
