We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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