I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
