I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
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