I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
