he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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