He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize