roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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