But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
