If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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