Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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