I think I died a long time ago.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
BRING THE BAGELS
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize