Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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