I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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