ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Randomize
