I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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