Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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