Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
