she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
