shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
