White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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