I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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