Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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