I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
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