Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
