I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
