So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
are you so shy because you have an std?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
