Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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