i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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