Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize