My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize