Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
