either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'm really busy with my period
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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