Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
