I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
