The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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