Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize