i love accidental penises.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Randomize
