his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
