So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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