I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
