he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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