well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
