but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
