hell yes lets make some ravioli
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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