I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
